Reforging a lost life from Zero
by AgusJustAgus
Summary: Subaru's long day of work finally come to an end, but he already knows what the fate has prepared for him. Will this endless week in the mansion beat Subaru? How will he escape from all the suffering?. A story of what may had happened if things would had been a bit more dificult for Subaru in Roswaal's mansion. Read and review, I would apreciate your opinions!


Closing his book, he sighed. His hand hurts for writing for so long.

"Man I'm tired. That's all for tonight, thanks for letting me stay until this late again, Beako"

The child-like, blond drill-haired girl not even flinched at his commentary "No matter how many times you get rid of bugs, they always come back, I suppose" sighing, Beatrice closed her book and got up from her chair "Betty just gave up on bugs and learned to live with them, I suppose"

Subaru put his hand on his chest, as if he was just shot through his heart. "Aahg, after all the time I spent with you so you don't get lonely, this is how you treat me? Like a bug you just can't get rid of?"

"Betty doesn't have to answer to your question, I suppose. But rather than that, why do you come here every night since you came to this mansion?" She said, looking directly at his with her pink butterfly-like iris.

Subaru just raised his shoulders and hands "To spent time with my favorite loli, of course. And to write my diary, I suppose" he answered, mocking her.

"Never in her life hear that word, but Betty can't help but get irritated upon hearing that word, I suppose" Now grabbing a cup of tea from the table that was in the middle of the library, she took a sip and ask again _._ "Why would a boring and ordinary human like you need to be writing a diary until way past midnight? Betty doesn't care if you don't sleep enough and get scolded by the elder maid, I suppose, but Betty does care for her own sleep schedule"

Grinning, Subaru throw her the book, which she caught without taking her eyes from the tea cup. "Nice catch"

Opening it, she frowned for being unable to read the diary. "Betty know lots of languages, and she can learn any new language just by looking at how it is written, I suppose" she said, taking the book near here face "But this have no logic, I suppose"

" _Well, Japanese, and Kanji none the less, is one of the hardest languages of all"_ Subaru thought to himself.

"But not for having a strange structure or too many different _glyphs._ It's more because your calligraphy is one of the worst Betty has ever seen, I suppose"

"Hehehe, I think I should improve in that, they´ve always said that to me in school" He said, grabbing his neck with his right hand. "Anyway, you can keep it if you want. I'm going to sleep, do mind leaving me near my bedroom?"

Beatrice never said anything, she just _shu_ him away with her hand. She was really into his diary.

" _So she really think of me as a bug"_ Subaru said to himself, walking away from her. He grabbed the door´s notch and opened it. "By the way, thanks for healing my wounds, I appreciate it" With that, he left the library, just to notice that the _door crossing_ left him outside of the mansion, in the front door to be specific, which, by the way, was locked.

"I'M SURE YOU DON'T TRY THIS HARD TO GET RID OF BUGS, YOU DRILL LOLI!" Subaru yelled, really angry for having to walk to the other side of the mansion to get to his room, which is a looong walk.

* * *

"How did you know that Betty saved your life? Betty never once mentioned it, I suppose"

* * *

Furiously, he knocked the door. _"Come on! I don't have time for this, not today, not now"_

After a few minutes of knocking he heard footsteps coming from inside. Hearing the lock, just one thought came to Subaru's mind _"Please don't be blue, please don't be blue, please do not be blue"_

The door opened just enough to let a red right eye to see through it. Subaru, sighed half relieved, but he became more anxious because Ram didn't opened enough the door to let him in, and she was saying anything.

Ram's unemotional face just looked at him from head to toe. "Sorry, we don't have anything for you now, come back other day" she said, closing the door.

"Come on Ram! Let me in!" Yelled Subaru, grabbing and pulling the notch with all his might.

"Rem did told you the night schedule, you know that we are not allowed to go outside past midnight" Ram speak from inside. "So my punishment for you will be that you sleep in the ground dragons' barn tonight"

"He-he-he you wo-wouldn't just do that, ri-right?" after a few second, Subaru still didn't have his answer, until he heard the lock. "DON'T JUST LOCK ME UP OUTSIDE!"

"Barusu" Ram's monotone voice gave Subaru shivers in his back "You will do as I say, or do you want Rem to choose your punishment?"

Subaru's face lost all its colors, just leaving a black and white seventeen years old boy trembling, remembering the horrors of Rem's punishments. While the blue maid seems to be the more quiet, honest and gentle of the twins, Ram's punishment were nothing but a mosquito bite compared to Rem's.

"Ram-chi" Subaru called her quietly.

"Yes Barusu?"

"If you let me inside and do not ever mention this to Rem, I will do all your chores tomorrow" It was a tempting bait, he know how much she like to slack off, it was that or she enjoyed seeing him overworking.

"Your cleaning capabilities are null, so the results will only be a disaster and Rem would have to clean up your mess" Her answer was crude, but it was true.

"That's exactly what you do" She gulped, he got her. "Rem always fixes everything you do wrong, which is everything, so she wouldn't notice it. Plus, unlike you, I seem to improve a bit with practice, so maybe I won't screw up at all. What do you say?"

Finally, Ram opened the door, but just to see his face. "I accept your deal, but you will have to do my chores for the whole week, and I will negate everything if Rem learn of this deal"

Sighing, Subaru agreed with the new terms of the contract "Some times I ask myself if it is in your personality the necessity to piss me of or see me suffering"

"I would say that my personality is one of my best charms" Ram mocked with her usual grin.

"I don't want to know what your worst are"

"Come on, get inside before Rem woke up"

* * *

" _I know many languages and I can learn any other just by reading a few pages but I don't know how to speak of myself without using the third person, I suppose"_ Ranting, Subaru walked through the hall, he has to do one last thing before going to _sleep_.

"Subaru"

" _And I mock about everyone, acting all supreme while I am useless at everything and the only thing I can really do is peel and steam tatoes"_

"Subaru" It has no case calling his name, it was falling in deaf ears.

" _And they coordinate to play jokes on me in this day in special… I hope I have enough time"_

"Subaru" This time her tone was harder, tired of being ignored

Sighing, he dropped his head and put his hand deep into his pockets " _Maybe next time I should do something to get closer to them. It would be nice for a change of peace to get along with everyone_ "

Now obviously angry, she took a deep breath and shouted "SUBARU!"

"Oh, Emilia-tan?" Subaru, finally noticing her, greet her with a soft, yet true, smile. "Why are you yelling at this late of the night? You may wake up someone"

"But you were ignoring me!" It was strange to Subaru to see Emilia upset "I called your name at least three times"

"Ignoring you?" confused, Subaru acted as if being fatally wounded "Ah, the pain, to think my sweet and cute Emilia-tan is making lies of me ignoring her, being that she is the reason of my heart beating"

Giggling at his antics and trying to ignore that he called her cute and sweet, which she couldn't so a light blush appeared in her face, her soft expression came back to her face "I don't know when you think we got so close"

"CRITICAL HIT" Dropping in his knees, defeated, Subaru said his last words "Come on, finish me, end my suffering"

Emilia was hiding her laugh with her hand, a really cute image for Subaru, maybe _too_ cute for him "Come on silly, get up. Where you the one shouting outside of the front door?"

Cracking a guilty laugh Subaru massaged his neck with his hand "yeah it was me, Beatrice likes to play with me with her door crossing. Did I wake you up?"

Denying with her head, Emilia answered simply "No, I was studying for the elections"

"At this time of the night? You shouldn't overdo it, you will exhaust yourself" Said Subaru, worried for her. "I wouldn't like to friend to fall sick for overdoing it"

"I think that it is worth overdoing it that allows you to accomplish your goal" And softly, almost inaudible she added "But it makes me really happy that you worry about me, and that you consider me as your friend"

"The best of my friends" Added Subaru, grinning because she thought he didn't hear her

Blushing madly, Emilia didn't know how to react, never once in her life she had someone that considers her as a friend. She had Roswaal, but he was more like a benefactor for her goal, Ram and Rem were close to her, but they were her maids after all, and Puck was like his father, the one he could say was his close family.

"E-E-Eh Su-, I-I mean fri- I wanted to say… Goodnight!" and with that, she walked away really awkwardly, ending the small talk and trying her best to not look back"

" _Too cute, it's a shame the she blushed more for being called friend rather than cute, well, friendzoned again my dear Subaru"_ was the thought running through Subaru's head. _"Okay, one last thing before ending the night, I hope to have enough time"_

Finally, arriving to his bedroom, Subaru opened the door and dashed to his desk. Grabbing the pen that was resting over the desk he started to feel the tiredness and pain in his right hand. _"Maybe I stayed too long writing my diary, seems like I am not the only one overdoing himself, Emilia-tan"_ Sighing, he grabbed an envelope _"But like you said, it will be all worth it"_

Writing in the Legunica language, he wrote _**"To everyone"**_ in the front of the envelope. Then proceed to write his small letter, he already memorized for doing it so many times.

" _ **Emilia-tan, Ros-chi, Rem-rim, Ram-chi and Beako, thanks for everything you gave, for giving me a goal to fight for, for giving me a family. I will keep trying my best."**_

It was short, but it has a really deep meaning for Subaru. This latter and his diary were his sanity, the only things that meanwhile he do it, he will not lose sight of everything, that he will not break again, that all his suffering, that started _so long_ ago will have an end, and that he will have his happy ending.

He hid the letter under the sheets of his bed and started to wander through the mansion. He could have gone to sleep, so it would be painless, but it means one thing. _Nightmares._ After experiencing death so many times everyone would think that you get used to it, but that wrong. The suffering of dyeing, the suffering of seeing your loved ones die, over and over again, the witch crushing your heart, all that was something you just can't get used to. So reviving everything together in a single night was not an option while he could avoid it.

But that pain means that he still is human, that he still feels, that he hasn't became _hollow_ yet.

Finally, hearing the chains he smiled. _"You are late"_

It was no use to try to fight the assassin, he was just too perfect. He would hide in the shadow, so not even his victim could see him. His weapon was virtually impossible to parry much lost to stop it with brute force, so fighting him directly was useless.

Subaru didn't have enough time to prepare any plans this time, so he just accepted his fate, like he already done many times. The chains started to move, making a sound that Subaru will always fear.

Closing his eyes, he prepared himself. The giant steel ball was sent right to his chest, sending him flying through the hall when it made contact with him.

Without opening his eyes, Subaru could feel his body starting to give up. The pain was everywhere, it was unbearable, no matter how many times he suffered the same fate, the pain was the only thing that didn't change.

The assassin prepared for his second attack, he would never kill him in a single blow. Once again the sound of the chains made his body shiver. This time the assassin aimed to the head, and ended Subaru's life.

Rising himself quickly to take a deep breath, Subaru opened his eyes. A familiar sight greets him. The two maids were standing together, holding each other hand, in a room that wasn't his and wearing clothes that weren't the ones he used a second ago.

"Hello there" Said Subaru, smiling the heavenly maids.

* * *

 **Hello everyone, this is my first time writing a fanfic... or writing in general. As you may have already know by reading this chapter, Enligh is not my first lenguage, so why did you wirote in English you may ask, and the answer is: I dont know, I think I gathered the courage to do it after reading other writers work, so yeah. Anyway this story is way different than the actual anime, but I wanted to preserve all the characters in their own personality and to include everyone in the story. Its more of a theory of what would had happen if some things would had gone so smoothly for Subaru, more in the future I will tell you more about this. I know its quite short but this is more like a prelude, so more will be coming out sometine soon, dont know when but it will come. So yeah, thanks for reading please if there are any error tell my and review if you liked.**


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